My Grandpa Bear

My grandpa left me a sign today. I messed with a bowl, before I left the house yesterday, that had random junk (shoelaces, a chain, a paper) and today I grabbed it to clean it out and use it as a coin dropping place. I picked it up and the first thing on top was a old faded photo, where the only real visible face was my grandpa’s smiling face. It was very nice and I did not see it there yesterday when I was poking around in it. I knew something slid out of the paper, but I didn’t see it and I didn’t see it on top. Today it was right on top, face up, ready to be seen.
Grandpa Bear


My brother and I called him Grandpa Bear. I think it may have been because he had these bear feet slippers. I would love to have a pair of those slippers again, with the claws that stuck out the front. Maybe it was even before he had those. Perhaps because he would crawl around on the floor and chase us and growl like a bear about to capture you.

My point is that I spent time with a friend yesterday and he gave me a bottle of wine, that just so happened to have two bears on it, even called Bear Boat.

Bearboat wine

Really? Come on now. He was the first person I thought of and then I saw the photo today.

This was confirmation of him supporting me in my decisions, my life, and his desire for me to know that the times I have seen things like this that he just wants to say hello. Wow. As I type this I felt something on my back left shoulder and my left ear started ringing a bit and the pressure changed in my head. Thank you for the support! I heard you. Time to go to sleep. No more signs please! I kind of freak out when I[‘m alone and it’s late. Keep it to the daytime for now, thanks!



“Comfy” Crystal

True Happiness – What Is It?

Sometimes what you thought made you happy is really what was holding you back. How is this possible?

It seems counter-intuitive to be so grateful for what you have, where you are,  and I appreciate everything in your life, and still have a hole in your heart for something that you feel may be thinking in a fantasy world. Who says that life can and is supposed to be just like living a romantic movie with a happy ending? Who says you can’t live in a fantasy world?

Why is it that some people can live and not know that they’re missing anything, and others feel like they have so much and yet they’re not living to their full potential? Spiritually speaking, how much free will do we really have? Why would a physical body experience symptoms of unhappiness if it made the choice to live the life it’s living?

I think back to when I was experiencing the highest vibration in the purest form of unknowing. I now understand how you can be a being of the light of God and not know that you are being of light. So if I didn’t know then that I was that radiant, that I had that much joy, how could I have lived fully and completely?

I know that as I got older and experienced more drama in my life, I noticed the pain and trouble in other people and I started to attach to that. Then I started to fix them. Now I make it my life mission to help fix others, to help them feel supported and loved. And while I feel completely loved, guided, and supported by Spirit, my physical body craves to be loved guided and supported by a human. Although I am a beam of light now, I cannot separate my being human from my being Spirit. It is to deny both sides of me, my yin and my yang.

And the beat goes on… and the beat goes on.